First year in 15 years I truly had the Christmas spirit. I love this quote: “blessed is the holiday that brings the world together in a conspiracy of love”. That is music to my ears. I listened to Christmas music, I shopped the mall on a crazy day, I indulged in food and drink and talk and late nights and Christmas Family Movies, and gave more gifts and loved the snow and made jokes and laughed as loud and hard as I possibly could. I also felt the undercurrent of sadness that seems to reside in this holiday. I am starting to believe those feelings are souls just wanting so bad to be happy and this season really brings about the realization of how much we as humans are intertwined.
My brothers death has been so devastating to me in so many ways but I would NOT be the person I am today without all of the experiences that went along with his life and death. And there is no way in the world he wanted me to spend years being sad over his absence. Due to his death I had to face it in my youth and I have a completely different belief in death and its energy, and yet sometimes I miss the SHIT out of him.
But, this so long after and yes, I had viewed the christmas spirit (all the decorations, presents, cookies, carols, movies) has been sooooo materialistic, I was also able to see the true spirit even through the materialism.
This YEAR has been such a gift. My grattitude is fully abundent. Thank you world, universe and my family of people in my life.
