The frustration Mounts

I’m ok now.  For now.  But seriously, it is an amazing thing this life.  I thought I had finally closed the door to this rather burdensome event requiring monetary collection of a large amount from work.

its been months, but these days of promising and then finding something new to dispute when I’ve been over this situation for months.

I have had to review and re-review things over and over again.  Running numbers asking for amounts checking for errors, blahdeblahbluck……I want to vomit.  I want to run far away from this situation.  It is like that perverbial thorn in the side only this has grown nicely to the size of a dagger threatening to cut me in half.

Philisophically speaking i’m aware that this “challenge” is daring me to bend certain rules and promises of integrity to the point where I will either break down or break the rules.  Either way the rule will bend because I set it and I break it.

Phisiologically speaking we have an innate desire to be happy that has been clouded by the industrial revolution in a way.  However without the industrial revolution we would have never as humans moved from the survival mode to recognizing the innate desire for happiness.  The revolution provided more thinkers more time to ponder more freedom (freedom i use loosely in this sentence).

Now the time to move on because we are stuck in this stage as a race and we are being pulled further into working toward that innate desire, but there are all these damn claims that it has to be HARD, DARK, SERIOUS and something we would rather avoid and have done so by setting all these unfounded rules barracading ourselves into the constant pursuit of happiness while holding ourselves back by these fears set before us.

Breaking the set of rules that have existed for only a short time in the scheme of time, but that are so ingrained is what needs to happen to break that bubble into the pursuit of happiness being an OK thing, that it don’t have to be hard.  That it is easy and these burdens and material things we attach so many rules and values on will dissipate.  We think there will be no governing of this, and that we need rules and such.

make that rule a curve.  Now, how to apply that without being miserable consciously?

Advertisement